Tuesday, October 2, 2012

And He said, "I have prepared their hearts".

Adoption. Oh adoption. The joys. The miracles. The faith. The presence of God. THE MONEY. Oh the money. I always comes down to the money. I have learned many things from God over all these adoptions, and I can tell you with 100% that He.always.sends.the.money. It has come different ways with each adoption, but it always comes from God. I could go on and on about the money we lost in the scam and the failed adoptions, but that's not what this was about. Each time something happened I would always say, "I don't care about the money. God will send more." And I meant it.

Fast forward to today and Hudson's adoption. In our grief and confusion we had agreed that maybe God didn't want us to adopt... We were trying to move forward in our lives. We started saving for the down payment of a new home, and I'm thankful that we did. Those few thousand dollars would become what we had to pay for the adoption. It's kinda funny, because we had the exact amount that it usually costs with our attorney in a NORMAL adoption. Guys, have you ever known anything NORMAL to happen to ME?  Nope. Not the way I roll. Hudson's adoption is out of state, and that almost doubles the cost, because we had to hire attorneys and social workers in Louisiana as well as Alabama. We also have to be prepared to stay 5-10 business days in Louisiana after Hudson is released from the hospital. In my "old life" and in my old patterns I would be a nervous wreck about right now... I mean come on! Now Hudson is coming earlier than we thought, and we don't have this money. Go ahead. Ask me if I'm worried or nervous. My answer is a loud and resounding "NO!" Why? Because I know that God's got this.

I'm sure you know that there's a conversation with God somewhere waiting to be told, and here it is. Andrew and I have been praying non stop about financial provision since we were blessed with Alex and Hudson. We have trusted that God will send it, although we have NO idea where it will come from.... That actually excites me. Here we are...awaiting the birth of our promised son, and we have NO idea where the money will come to pay for it. :) No idea. That means we get to sit back and watch our Father go to work. We are going to get to have a front row seat in the "God will send everything we need for Hudson" show. Don't you want to watch too? Who doesn't want to see a miracle? Right? I don't know about you, but I'm ALWAYS up for a miracle. I love miracles.... and God LOVES to bless His children with miracles... I feel a BIG miracle coming.

Now. This is where it's going to get real. I have been praying about what to do. Do we wait? Do we have fundraisers? Do we do some raffles? Sunday morning when I woke up and told Jesus good morning He said, "I have prepared the hearts of the people who are going to send provision. Do it now." Well. Nothing like clear direction from Jesus. I'll take it over advice and my own whimpy ideas any day of the week.

God made it clear to me that this isn't about Andrew, me, or even Hudson. It's about you. In the whole scheme of things money is nothing to God. It's all His anyway. He could choose to send provision any way He wants, but He has chosen you. He made it very clear to me that He is giving His children the opportunity to take part in the miracle of Hudson. He wants you to own a part of the miracle that IS Hudson. This may sound weird to you all, but I say what God tells me to say. Sometimes it's awkward for me, because I'm not God. I'm just Loulou. I have learned to trust Him and His Word and not my own. SO... God says, He is blessing YOU by ALLOWING you to bless Hudson. In other words, you're not doing Him a favor by chipping in a few bucks. Now from ME I'm overwhelmed and honored that you would give a dollar. God evidently has plans for some of you. That's between you and Him.

I did pray specifically that only those who's hearts God had prepared would give. I don't want one single person giving out of a sense of obligation....I ONLY want provision that God is directing His children to give. And guess what? Even if you get your drawers all in a wad over this, get mad at me, and don't give anything I STILL LOVE YOU AND SO DOES GOD. You may NOT be meant to bless Hudson. I don't know... I don't know ANY of this, but I do know this is how God wants it. And who am I to question Him? I also know that this adoption will be funded the way God wants it funded....

I guess now it's time to tell you how you can help. God has made it clear to me that He doesn't want me to specify an amount, that He will send us what He wants us to have. It's not about a number. It's about FAITH, TRUST, and BELIEVING Him.  Not believing IN Him. Believing HIM. Believe what He says He can do and will do. So that's what I'm doing. For now I'm going to set up a neat little button on my sidebar where you can donate if God leads you to do so. If He leads us to go ahead with a raffle or two, then we'll do that....but this is the way He wants it for now. Andrew and I are overwhelmed and thankful that you even care to read the story of Hudson. We are so blessed if any of you decide to give any amount. It's not about an amount of money. It's about watching God work. And that's my favorite thing to do.

I love each and every one of you who has given your time and love through prayer through this entire process. I don't think I would have made it and been the person I am in Christ right now if you all hadn't gone before Him FOR me. For that I am eternally grateful. If you decide that all you are supposed to do is pray, then we accept that as gladly as we do any amount of money. Your prayers mean WAY more to us than a donation. Whatever you do I pray that God will bless you through it. I know He will. He ALWAYS blesses His children.

I love you all,

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