Monday, December 6, 2010

I like to pretend I’m normal. I like to pretend I’m Superwoman…..

Sometimes I have really good stretches of time where I’m healthy. I’m actually functioning and living my life. Then it hits. My conditions. Last Thursday I started coughing and had the same crud most of you guys had or will have. The difference? By Friday morning I was passing out and throwing up on the floor. My hubby left me alone thinking I was asleep while he got the girlies ready for preschool. In that amount of time I ended up in a face plant. It wasn’t pretty. I was quickly reminded that I’m not anywhere close to normal. I may have little glimpses of health here and there, but they don’t last. It’s hard to admit to myself. I am disabled. Yep. I am. I have the blue placket that hangs from my rearview mirror and everything. Although I try to ignore it and be as normal as possible there are times that I can’t. I have learned to be SO GRATEFUL to God for these little windows of semi-normalcy. I really am. That doesn’t stop me from having pity parties here and there though. I am human, and I long for a healthy normal body. I hate missing things with my family. I hate that I’m in bed when they’re all doing something fantastic like going to the Christmas parade. I hate that there are so many things that I want to do but can’t. I know all you guys are thinking , “Hey, she does all that furniture and all those projects. SHE can’t be disabled”, and I don’t blame you for the thought. The truth is SHE has the vision, and her hubby does most of the grunt work. He does all the sanding and prepping…. the painting with the sprayer… He brings them to me to distress and glaze. He knows how much these things mean to me and keep me sane. HE is my angel. Andrew has always done everything he can to help me feel normal. There have been times when he’s done ALL the cooking and cleaning as well as the 100 loads of laundry per week (all the while he works a full time job). He’s taken the brunt of the parenting when I can’t handle the stress…. He does everything. That man meant it when he said, “In sickness and in health”. Andrew is a true example of what a hubby should be, and my life wouldn’t be anything close to normal without him. The best part? Yeah. He thinks he’s lucky to have ME?? Seriously? This falling apart 40 year old? Yup. He thinks I rock. It amazes me everyday.

I realize now (as I always do later) that all those projects before Thanksgiving pushed me right over the edge. I’m guilty of taking advantage of every bit of energy that I have instead of saving some up. Have I mentioned that I’m stubborn??

Please know that I’m really not sitting around feeling sorry for myself, although I do have brief moments. Today I am thankful that I was able to get out of bed today without passing out or being too dizzy to function. I am grateful that my heart seems to be beating with a normal rhythm….. I am thankful.

This blog is my outlet and always have been. I like trying to pretend that I’m superwoman and that I can  do ALL these things ALL the time. I like to pretend, because it helps me cope. It’s important to me to tell the TRUTH. Don’t believe it all….. I’m not superwoman. I’m a mama just trying to do the best I can to make my house a home for my family….. Humor me sometimes when I’m going on and on about all the things I do or want to do…. then watch. I always crash. Now is the crash. It’ll take me a week at least to reach my semi-normal. There won’t be any big projects or decorating done. I’ll be lucky if I can keep the laundry going.  If you’re healthy today say a prayer of thanks. I thank God everyday that I’m not any worse than I am. I COULD be a lot worse or have something even worse than what I have. I AM BLESSED. I would like to ask one favor. Today when you’re out doing something fabulous will you think of me?? Can we pretend like I’m doing it with you?? In my heart I will be.

Love and hugs.

10 comments:

Crystal Rose Cottage said...

We all have days when we have a little pity party....nothing wrong with that. You got to let off steam. This is your blog to do that and that's ok! I do hope you feel better...I had the coughing crud a couple of weeks ago and it was no fun! Feel better and I will think of you today!~Hugs, Patti

Tammy@InStitches said...

I hope you are feeling better really soon. I'll be saying a prayer for you and I'll even take you out on a trip to the $ store later.
Hugs !

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Absolutely, you can sit right here next to me at my "wonderful" day job, Lou Lynn! We'll giggle and make fun of how anal some of the lawyers are! : ) And you better rest up now so you can enjoy some Christmas family time. No more big projects for you until after New Years!

Mandi @ Vintage Revivals said...

I love you lady! You are in my prayers!! We are totally supposed to be bffs, and just so you know you will ne helping me clean my house and (hopefully) start s new painting project. Actually I should say starting a new painting project and (hopefully) cleaning my house.....

Love your sick guts
mandi

JSM Narramore said...

That is a bummer you are not feeling well. You truly are a superwoman; I'm sure superwoman had pity parties too. We all have them! It makes us remember we are only human! I hope you feel better soon and I agree no more projects until after New Years or maybe even Valentine's!!

Julie Harward said...

I'm sorry, I didn't know that you had anything wrong. I don't know what it is but I am sending big hugs and well wishes...rest up so you can really enjoy Christmas. I hope it will be better. :D

Sanctuary Home said...

Hi Lou Lynn,
I'm sorry that you're not feeling your best right now...this too shall pass! You ARE blessed, with beautiful children, awesome husband, an eye for design, and many faithful followers(friends) in blog land. It helps to focus on our blessings in life...there are so many. I thank God every night for all of mine. We all have pity parties from time to time. I will be thinking about today. I have to go to the doctor, so you probably won't want to do that, but after that I'm going to go thrifting. I would love to take you along!
I'm a new fan (follower) of yours. Come on over and visit me anytime. Let's have cyber lunch together! : ) Susan
http://sanctuaryhomebysusancooke.blogspot.com/

Becky said...

((Hugs))

Becky :)

Janine said...

Loulou ... I hope you can see how very loved you are from so many people who have not even met you. I feel like I have gotten to know you through blog-world and want to send you the BIGGEST "get-better-quick" hug. I love your honesty. Thank you for sharing today because now we know how to pray ... and pray we shall! May your strength be renewed sweet friend. Much love to you xxx

High Street Cottage said...

LouLou, I had no idea. You sure know how to hide it. I will tell you, it's certainly a downfall this internet. There are real things we cannot see. I think it's what appeals to so many. We can have failing health and still type away, create a web page, and no one would know. But I'm glad you shared this. I really am. We all have health issues, at least most of us, some more serious than others. I can tell you, I miss out on a few things myself due to health, and with work, I find I have to save my energy for that. So often I get home, do the dinner thing, get the dishes done and crash onto the bed exhausted. You sharing this, makes me feel all the closer to you. So for that I'm sending you a great big get well hug from me, to you XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX! tami

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