Having a pacemaker and dysautonomia at 39 years young sucks sometimes. Case in point….. Last night I was out for my run….Granted. I felt like CRAP all day yesterday and should have NEVER tried to go out…. I’m hardheaded like that ;) Anyway, I knew from the beginning of the jog that things weren’t working right…I kept on for about a mile and half before the ol’ blood pressure bottomed out…. I stopped and sat down for a while then got up and tried to make it home… I vaguely remember leaning on a tree and wondering how the heck I was gonna make it home. Then I saw this beaconing light from one of my favorite boutiques:
I somehow made it to Private Gallery and passed out cold after telling a sweet lady there that I needed help. She freaked out (of course) and called 911 which was totally unnecessary…. Andrew made it there while they were loading me up in the ambulance. They took me to the ER and poked and prodded me for a while…. I explained to the nice doctor man that this is just my life and it happens. He cancelled all the ordered tests and let me finish up my IV fluid and head home. It’s been a while since I’ve landed in an ER. If I pass out or get real dizzy it usually happens at home. This is just my life. I pass out. I feel like crap. I wish I was normal. Then I move on. I have to choose to move forward everyday and not focus on the disability. I WILL continue my running. It has helped my heart SO much. It was evident during my pacemaker test that it’s done my heart so much good. My heart is beating more on it’s own and is less dependent on the pacemaker…. I will not give up. It’s hard, and it sucks, but I will not give up. I don’t give up. I fight and fight and fight and fight for as much of a normal life I can have for me and my family. I’ll feel cruddy for a few days, but then I’ll be back at it again…taking care of the kiddos, running, crafting, sewing….back to my life. I’m thankful for this life I have even with at the crap that goes along with it.
Hope you all have a fantastic weekend. If you need me you can find me on my couch. :)